Kanda's Cake
by etErnalroSe09
Summary: Exactly what it says. Our favourite (or not) samurai wannabe is reluctant to spend some quality time with his friends. But it is the Christmas season and Lennalee is adamant they bake something together. So Kanda tries to bake a cake. And fails. Horribly. !There is swearing, but I blame Kanda's dirty mouth. Not T because I have no problems with cussing.!


A/N: It's Christmas season and Kanda is reluctant to spend some quality time with his friends. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: same old same old. I don't own.

* * *

Kanda was pissed. Pissed enough to go chasing after a certain baka usagi. "COME BACK HERE TO FACE YOUR DEATH, BAKA USAGI!"

Lavi just laughed then squeaked in fear and sped up as Kanda caught up to him, chunks of red hair drifting to the ground in the spot where he had been standing. Kanda growled, swinging Mugen in the direction of the usagi's neck. He yanked a drooping pink flower from his hair and darted after the usagi again.

Lavi dashed into a room and Kanda followed blindly, nearly skidding into a white-haired moyashi that Lavi had hidden behind. The door slammed behind them and the lock clicked firmly with an air of finality. Kanda froze, realising too late that it was a trap. "Fuck."

"Oh goodie, you got him," Lenalee hefted a tray laden with baking materials.

Kanda shot the crazy scientist's sister a venomous look before turning to bust the lock open.

"Come on, Yu-chan don't be such a wet blan-" Lavi was cut off by a katana flashed at his neck level.

"DON'T. CALL. ME. THAT."

"Oh, cheer up, Bakanda," Allen dodged Mugen. "At least try it out."

"Fuck, hell no."

Lenalee planted both hands on her hips, staining them with sparkling sugar crystals. "Can't you spend some Christmas quality time with us, Kanda?"

"Mugen, hatsudo."

"Remember that experiment Komui did three weeks ago, Kanda?" Said exorcist froze, remembering neko ears twitching atop his head. "I bet Komui Nii-san still has the potion." Kanda sheathed Mugen stiffly, stalking to the counter, dumping flour randomly into a random bowl. He teased the braids out his high ponytail, yanking out the pink flowers, shredding the petals between his fingers.

Allen took in the pink glitter sifted into Kanda's dark strands. 'New hair style?' he mouthed to Lavi. The said culprit grinned. 'Lenalee didn't state the specifics' he lip-read. A crack made them turn. Kanda threw another egg into the bowl after the first. "What," he asked with a customary scowl, feeling their stares on his back.

"You're supposed to crack the eggs CAREFULLY and let the contents drip into the bowl. You're not supposed to let any of the shell fall into the bowl." Allen demonstrated.

Kanda's only response was to shrug and fling the last egg into the same bowl, shell and all. "Che." Allen rolled his eyes. "As long as you're poisoning your own self."

Something wet and sticky smacked into the back of his head. Allen turned around, scraping batter from his hair. A yelp sounded from beside him, as Kanda's vigorous stirring of cake batter forced a lump onto Lavi's face. Kanda wrestled with the sticky mixture and splintering spoon for a while longer before giving up and emptying a bottle labelled 'soy sauce'.

Allen coughed. "Errr... That's soy sauce..."

Kanda shrugged. It looked enough like the vanilla ass-ense crap to him. He adjusted the temperature of the oven by turning the knob to the extreme right and practically threw his shit job of a cake in, only to take it out a moment later, after washing his hand.

Allen and co. stared at the charred black lump.

"What? It saves time. I'm not going to stand around like a prick and wait for this shit to be done."

Allen blinked, wrinkling his nose. As much as he worshipped food, there was no way this lump of shit was alike heavenly, glorious food. He opened his mouth to piss off and insult the Bakanda when-

* * *

~Kanda-ish POV~

* * *

It looked like something good could come out of this bloody crap waste of time. He shoved the charcoal mess into the moyashi's mouth. The said victim gagged in a most satisfying way.

* * *

~ General POV (whatever it is)~

* * *

"Ohhh GOD! Why did you stuff that in?!"

"Let's just say it was a good opportunity. Besides, you were BEGGING for it by opening your goddamned mouth, moyashi. Wait- eww. Fucking shit. I did NOT mean for it to come out this way, SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH USAGI!"

Lavi spluttered in laughter. "You s-s-sound like a p-p-pair of f-f-f-fucking FAGS!"

"That's not gay." Allen whined in his own defense.

* * *

~Kanda-ish POV. again~

* * *

At that moment, Kanda really did not now what compell- no, possessed him to- ah, fuck it.

* * *

~back again~

* * *

A pair of hard, fierce and strong lips slammed themselves on Allen's warm, soft ones. All jaws dropped.

"You wanted fucking gay, usagi, I give you bloody fucking gay." With that, the supposed love-incapable Kanda Yuu stormed out of the kitchen, floury hair swinging (-somehow, the rest of him was completely clean and bater-free).

A flushing Allen turned pale and slumped to the floor in a dead faint.

Lavi and Lenalee looked towards Kanda's retreating back then at the silver angel collapsed on the floor, jealousy colouring their faces GREEN. (THIS IS A WATUCALLIT METAPHOR!)

* * *

A/N:I soooo did not plan it to turn out like this. But, hey, GO YULLEN

…I wrote this in July or something so yes, kill me for not uploading sooner. I don't even have an excuse, just lazy. And if I get, like, eleven reviews or something, I will upload the sequel.


End file.
